Hi, I'm 19, and my name is Anna!
"Big things come in small packages, like diamonds and dynamite."
-Florence Squillacote (my grandmother)
five sets of two hands, fingers spread wide
my best friend lying next to me squeaks out
“never have I ever masturbated”
a chortle and a shrug between the boys as they flick down their obligatory fingers
and I can’t help but feel a twinge in my stomach as my pinky follows suit
the silence in the room is thick and grey and suddenly sliced by
have you ever experienced fun?
I pull away a hair caught in my scarlet lipstick
in my reflection I see my table mate from english class
behind me she blinks twice and scoffs
“who are you trying to impress?”
the bathroom door is closed behind her before I can ask
the last time she did something to impress herself.
before a trip to the mall
one of my friends spends two hours
perfecting her bronzer
and choosing the perfect pair of shoes
the other rubs in dry shampoo
and is out the door in less than five minutes
they are two of the most beautiful girls I’ve ever seen.
my father calls me beautiful through a mouthful of popcorn
as I pour a glass of milk to accompany my now third piece of leftover birthday cake
he plants a kiss on my cheek and I grin as I wipe it away.
she asks me what to do to start loving herself
and I send her away to my full length mirror
and demand to only speak to her
when she’s found something to adore
the way I did with my knobby knees
and tiger-striped hips
and big square teeth
fifteen minutes go by
and she finally points to the freckles on her nose
splits into a grin
the one that makes everyone weak in the knees
and I watch the lightbulb go off above her head
as she realizes
it’s never been her job to hate her body
i tell my sister she looks cute today
and the look on her boyfriend’s face
when she blurts out “damn right I do!”
I used to worry that I’d never find someone who loved me at all
and now my biggest fear
is finding someone who can adore me as much as I’ve come to.
seven thoughts on self love that came to me before I got my driver’s license (llb)
- in the middle of a scene piper kerman descends from the ceiling on a zipwire wearing an array of sequined garments
- she is carrying two machine guns and when she fires them they shoot out fireworks in the colours of the bi pride flag
- she screams loudly ‘BISEXUALS EXIST’ before blackflipping over pornstache’s head and out of the nearest window
- larry’s character is replaced by the chicken from season one incorporated seamlessly into his role with no explanation
literally all i want is to fall asleep on someone
i’m very tired and i want to lay my head on someone’s stomach and have them run their fingers through my hair and sleep
when ur eating dinner at your friends house
and their parents start arguing
and you want to ask for the salt
but the salt is right in between their upcoming divorce
Current status: not being kissed or riding a dragon this is unacceptable